


The Heart is a Muscle Too

by robocryptid



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gift Fic, Idiots in Love, M/M, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28511352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robocryptid/pseuds/robocryptid
Summary: “Asterius, when are you going to let me putyouon camera?”“I do not need it, sir. Besides, I don’t have your flair.” Asterius tries to say it lightly, but he is not sure he succeeds.Theseus scoffs. “It is our job to inspire, my friend, and I find you quite inspirational.” Something in his tone makes Asterius take a second look, but Theseus has his face buried in his phone. His cheeks are a dark pink. Given the quantities of compliments and crown emojis Theseus regularly receives, it is surprising that any comment on his videos could make him blush.Overwhelmed by the one-two punch of Theseus’ flushed cheeks and shiny nipples, Asterius concedes, “Whatever you think is best.”
Relationships: Asterius | The Minotaur/Theseus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 302
Collections: Hades Game Holiday Gift Exchange 2020





	The Heart is a Muscle Too

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunaroutlaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaroutlaw/gifts).



> For lunaroutlaw for our Hades discord gift exchange! They wanted fitfluencer Theseus! Happy holidays, lunar!

Theseus’ brown nipples gleam in the bright light. He has applied more oil to his waxed chest than Asterius is comfortable with. He says nothing, though; Theseus is speaking, and Asterius hates to interrupt at all times, but especially when the camera is on. 

“Do not fret, iron brethren, for even the mightiest of us have setbacks! Every warrior must rest between battles!” When Theseus speaks, his brilliant white teeth glint as distractingly as his nipples. “Get thee to a healing sage, and do not attempt the squat routine again until your ligaments can support the weight of your devotion!” He strikes a pose here, his proclamation complete. 

“That was kind of you,” Asterius says as he ends the video. He tries not to mumble, but it is difficult. Theseus’ phone feels much too small and fiddly in his hands. Besides, the nipple thing — that’s distracting. 

“I try to treat my fans well,” Theseus declares. It is always a declaration with him. Theseus does not know how to speak casually. It is part of his charm. “Who would I be without my subscribers?” He grins directly into the lens as though Asterius has not already finished recording.

He relinquishes the phone before he turns away, grateful for the break away from Theseus’ naked torso. When Asterius accepted this job, he was not aware that so much of it would be spent staring at Theseus shirtless and coiffed for a camera. He rather expected personal training to be more conventional, but that was before he knew about the social media angle.

While Theseus gets to work adding his subtitles, Asterius settles at the end of the weight bench with an oversized dumbbell that is still somehow dwarfed in his grip. Theseus makes him feel restless; this is as good a thing as any to keep his hands busy. 

“Asterius, when are you going to let me put  _ you  _ on camera?”

“I do not need it, sir. Besides, I don’t have your flair.” Asterius tries to say it lightly, but he is not sure he succeeds.

Theseus scoffs. “It is our job to  _ inspire,  _ my friend, and I find you quite inspirational.” Something in his tone makes Asterius take a second look, but Theseus has his face buried in his phone. His cheeks are a dark pink. Given the quantities of compliments and crown emojis Theseus regularly receives, it is surprising that any comment on his videos could make him blush. 

Overwhelmed by the one-two punch of Theseus’ flushed cheeks and shiny nipples, Asterius concedes, “Whatever you think is best.”

* * *

What Theseus decides is best is a video of Asterius picking up various weights in the small gym. It is a joke about his size, about the way the dumbbells always seem to shrink in his hands, or perhaps it is about the weights themselves. Asterius has always been stronger than most, so perhaps there is something funny about watching him casually pick up a fifty-pound weight the way others might hold ten pounds. 

He doesn’t have to speak or pose or any of the things Theseus typically does. They are calling this a teaser. The next time, Theseus insists, there will be a routine, and he will want Asterius to talk to their subscribers eventually, but for now, it is an informal introduction meant to whet their palates. (For what, Asterius does not know, but Theseus is the social media expert.)

The final product is silly, a fifteen-second montage of Asterius simply moving through their gym, doing a great deal of nothing. Theseus seems to think it is brilliant, until he suddenly does not.

“Is something wrong?” Asterius asks. “I don’t mind if you need to take it down.”

“Take it  _ down?!”  _ Theseus laughs, but he is still shaking his head at his phone. “They’re excited to meet you officially.” His smile is tight though. It makes very little sense.

Asterius investigates later, when he is alone. The video is exactly as silly as he remembers feeling when they filmed it. The caption reads:  _ You asked, beloved fans, so it’s time to meet the man behind the camera! My partner, Asterius! #BrothersInArms #Champions #Fitspo _

The comments, though — those are riddled with emojis, most of them eggplants. These would be embarrassing enough on their own, but the rest are much worse:

_ “partner” _

_ partner? ur breaking my heart king!!!!! _

_ He means business partners, you idoits. _

_ please tell me its not true i need him to blow my back out _

This must be the thing that has Theseus out of sorts. The comments make Asterius’ throat clench, but he does not know why.

* * *

His official introduction does not go much better. They have to invest in a tripod and adjust in order to squeeze Asterius into the frame. He feels like a hulking beast beside Theseus’ elegant musculature. 

It isn’t all bad. The routine they choose feels more like the personal training Asterius signed up to do, and Theseus sets it to music for the sake of their audience. He doesn’t make Asterius speak, either. Theseus is gleaming again, this time with sweat, as he grins into the camera. “The right person — such as a sibling-in-arms or a cherished partner! — can challenge you in ways you cannot achieve alone! The gods smile on those who refuse to accept mediocrity! Push yourselves, my iron brethren, to achieve ever greater glory, to become true champions!” The video ends here, but Asterius remembers the way Theseus’ smile faded when it was over, straight to the business of editing. 

The comments are somehow worse this time. They remark on his size, especially.

_ omg he’s even bigger than I thought. A KING. _

_ He can break my neck and I’ll thank him for it _

_ fucking huge dude I’d be smiling like Thes too lmao _

They can be difficult to parse, but Asterius is not _un_ aware that some are intended to be complimentary. He understands the eggplant symbolism well enough. (He does not know what a  _ bussy  _ is, but his instinct tells him that he should not ask Theseus to explain.)

He did not expect their audience to be so… receptive. These comments are their own sort of confounding, but as before, there are also the skeptical repetitions of the word  _ partner.  _ He wonders if Theseus is as conflicted by their amusement as he is, or if Theseus is so certain of the way he uses the word that he remains unbothered.

It only gets worse. With every video of Asterius, the comments on his size and build and the nature of their partnership persist, and Theseus’ smile grows more harried. 

It comes to a head when another fitfluencer reaches out. This is not the first time someone has hoped to join up for a gimmick, but it is the first time Theseus has seemed stressed by the suggestion. When Asterius asks, Theseus graces him with one of those tight attempts at a smile. “Well, my friend, they want to work with  _ you.  _ I… do not know what to tell them, I’m afraid. It is your decision, of course.”

“No,” Asterius answers simply.

“No? Surely you must want to expand your brand.”

“No. I do not want to appear for anyone else.” He does not understand the expression on Theseus’ face; the man is too complicated for someone who masquerades as a simple creature. “But if you think it would be good for your channel, I will.”

_ “Our  _ channel,” Theseus says.

“I work for you.”

“You work  _ with  _ me.”

Asterius does not know what to say to this. It is his only excuse for allowing the question to slip: “Is this what you mean by ‘partners’?”

“Of course. I— yes, of course. Should I use some other word?”

“I don’t know another word. I have simply noticed that the comments…”

“Pah! Let the commenters say what they will! We are partners, Asterius. Equals. Brothers in arms. Comrades!” Theseus’ face is a deep pink again; curious, as he so rarely shows a sense of shame at his own dramatics. 

“Comrades,” Asterius repeats. It feels as though something has dimmed inside of him, although it is exactly what he expected.

“That answer was unsatisfactory to you,” Theseus says. His eyes are searching Asterius’ face. “What is wrong with it?”

“It is an answer. That is enough.” Asterius attempts to shrug it off, but Theseus refuses to let up.

“No, my friend, I believe I have misstepped. What must I do to correct it?” The sincerity aches.

“You haven’t misstepped. You defined a word.”

“But…?”

Asterius wonders if this is what it feels like to stand at the edge of a cliff. He is not a coward, too afraid to look down, even if the swoop in his stomach serves as a warning. Bravery is one thing, but foolishness is another; he chooses his words very carefully. “Perhaps I had hoped that the commenters saw something I could not.” When Theseus does not answer, Asterius wonders if this was more foolish than brave after all. “It seems, however, that they and I were wrong. Regardless, I do not care to work for — or with — anyone else, unless that is what you want from me. You may make of this what you wish.”

He considers leaving, because he would like to go lick his wounds. Theseus will not let him, though. His fingers dig too tightly into Asterius’ arm. “I  _ wish  _ I had known sooner, my dear friend.” When Asterius attempts to turn his face, gentle fingers guide his gaze back to Theseus’. “I have been tormented for  _ weeks  _ by having been found out by the masses, only to keep hiding from you like a coward. We  _ are  _ friends, and partners, and all those other things, but I would like nothing more than for their speculations to be true.”

It takes a moment for the floral speech to penetrate his skull, but in the end, Asterius thinks he understands. By the time it does, Theseus’ lips have already tentatively touched his own, and his heart can finally unclench.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for Theseus' ridiculous fitness talk comes from [/r/SwoleAcceptance](https://www.reddit.com/r/swoleacceptance), which is a treasure trove of weird and was recommended to me as inspo by CommonNonsense. 
> 
> Terrible titles this fic almost had: "Weighting to Exhale," "Under the Fitfluence" and "Love Deadlifts Us Up Where We Belong"


End file.
